Pretentious porno for the arthouse brigade.

Considerably overlong.

Well made schlock.

Enjoy.

I love a good conspiracy theory as much as the next man…but does it really have to go on for soooo long?

The secret of a bore is to state everything.

Mannered, unfunny and pretentious.

The melodramatic fag haggy women featured in Almodovar’s films (they are always haveing mental difficulties), and his films’ glossy surfaces make them popular among homosexuals.

Others needn’t bother.

This is one of those “Great Films”, that you are supposed to watch if you want to be taken seriously by the eggheads.

The problem is that, although the battles are very grand etc the film is extremely tedious and SOLEMN.

But if you fancy an egghead and they ask you what you think of Kurasawa, the answer is, “stunning photogrpahy, I was gripped from the very start”.

Well made if unpleasant. There is something unlovable about the film, something acutely nasty.

It’s hard to say what the director wanted to get at. Something to do with “growing pains”, I think.

This is the only film with that pouting girl, Johansen, that I could sit through again.

I think she gets away with doing not much except pouting in this one because Bill Murray is so good at doing not much else except looking tired.

She didn't get away with it in that awful film about Vermeer because the English guy playing Vermeer hasn't got a very evocative facial expression.

One of the greatest horror films of all time: subtle, beauttiful, strange, brilliantly acted and filmed.

This film is extremely dreary and self-important.