Couples fight. For whatever reason it might be, there are almost no couples who will say that they don’t quarrel. Whether it is the husband’s fault or the wife’s, fights will come to an end only when one of the participants is ready to apologize for their mistake. Handling apologies is essential if you want your relationship to be peaceful and happy. Merely saying sorry without meaning it is not the way to go. Here’s what you need to keep in mind while apologizing after a quarrel:

1) Know why you are apologizing 

If you are aware that your partner is angry at you but don’t exactly know why you may want to apologize and move on without knowing the reason. This creates an emotional gap because you don’t take the effort to understand your partner reasons. If you really don’t know the specific reason why he/she is mad at you, ask him/her. Confronting the reason is essential if you want to mean your apology.

2) Don’t apologize for a benefit

Apologies can work positively in a relationship. Whether you are apologizing because you didn’t text at the pre-decided time on a dating site such as LOveSita after you met online or you want to say sorry to your partner for canceling out on a Paris trip at the last moment – your apology shouldn’t come with terms and conditions like he/she has to cook a meal if the partner says sorry, or similar other stuff. Don’t see it as a means to end the fight to get what you want. The apology should always be unconditional.

3) Understand the difference between justifying and explaining

Making a mistake is a natural thing, but don’t try to cover that mistake by justifying what you did. That will only make matters worse. Explaining the situation is a much gentler approach that can turn any heated moment into a reasonable conversation where your partner will be interested to understand what made you take the step that led to the fight. That will also make apologizing easier. On the contrary, if you try to justify your actions, he/she will only think that you are not trying to understand your mistake.

4) Make sure you don’t have to apologize for the same mistake again

A mistake, when repeated several times, is a habit. Don’t let that happen in a relationship if you want it to continue happily for years. If you know the reason why you are sorry, make sure you don’t make the same mistake again. He/she may not give you a second or third chance, after all.

5) Take time to listen

If it is your mistake and you know it, take some time to listen to what your partner says. Don’t interrupt him/her while they are speaking. They have every right to be mad at you if the mistake is entirely yours. If you keep calm and listen, you will also get the opportunity to explain your side to your partner.

Apologizing doesn’t make anyone small in a relationship. It just shows that you are ready to accept your fault and move on for the sake of the relationship which is more important than your personal opinion on a matter that may have started the fight in the first place.